“Mother-blaming” is a phenomenon where adults attribute their personal issues or life challenges to their mother’s parenting. While it’s natural to reflect on our upbringing, excessive mother-blaming can be detrimental to personal growth and relationships.

Signs of adult mother-blaming include consistently attributing negative life outcomes to your mother’s actions or inactions, difficulty taking personal responsibility for your choices, and a persistent sense of victimhood related to your upbringing. You might find yourself frequently comparing your life unfavorably to others, believing your mother is the root cause of the difference.

It’s important to recognize that while parents significantly influence our development, they aren’t solely responsible for our adult lives. Overcoming mother-blaming involves acknowledging the complexity of parent-child relationships, understanding the historical and social context of your mother’s parenting, and accepting that all parents are imperfect humans doing their best with the resources they have.

Therapy can be a valuable tool for those struggling with mother-blaming tendencies. It can help in processing childhood experiences, developing empathy for your mother’s perspective, and learning to take responsibility for your own life choices and happiness.